And the Enemy takes advantage of every move Black America makes. Also every move any Natives can make, or any moves anyone else can make. Yes, that includes Angelical White People or whoever. Meanwhile, there are oncoming Natural Disasters, but gee, that only works in Real Life. In Unreal Life, we just rattle on, going on living, without you seeing any such Middle Roads. Or in the end, the Middle Road is supposed to be an Ideal Heaven that always works. Unreality, unrealistic expectations, and furthermore, no real people in the world. Huh. I'm too tired to think straight, too tired to fight about it...I think I will ignore everything and hope it all goes away. It's an old working female method, I think, and perhaps I have finally "rediscovered" it.
The only thing present is humanity being something that can exist in the future and not in the present or in the past. Something impossible that people or others (Others?) could work toward so that whatever dismal or otherwise Unknown (like an accidental crossing between two bird species?) could finally exist. What if it has already been? If so, I wouldn't know how to run back there and go bring it back, as in reading old books, and fix it. I don't feel very ambitious that way, and since we are so "into it" I will say: not anymore. The end.
I don't really feel real or human anymore either. It was a petty pipe dream on my part. Being surrounded by subhuman beings or superhuman beings or ALSO in other words groupie woupies didn't really help. And then, after I found my husband, who wasn't appropriate, real or human in any way shape or form, and somehow we managed to have a child together...the hospital successfully messed her up too, and Obscene Magic was once again involved. So basically, this is Satan's planet is the only way I have left to put it, and that was a book that someone put out in the 1970s, which I guess rather "dates" me altogether. I think I am going to "retire" soon, but supposedly I don't have this freedom. I feel like I'm turning into Peppermint Patty or something equally subhuman now. Go away, you are not going to get anything out of this that is worthwhile.
If so, I am going to have to be brave, and face either some form of homelessness or imprisonment, at some point in time. It will be probably something a lot like a nursing home, a hospice, or along those lines. If Hubby the Bastard decides it again, it will probably be something like a mental ward or a mental hospital. I'm rather expecting that now. But he may decide otherwise because something like his Survival Motive might finally kick in. It depends. On me.
(EDITOR'S NOTE: The US Government, under the Obama administration but I guess it's the Republicans, the Koch Brothers or whoever, maybe Germany or what, is trying to run the pipeline through the major West Coast Indian reservations and take the land away from the Natives and possibly remove them all from the reservations. Where do you think they'd go?
Maybe, to have more fun raping me from a distance. I don't know.